Cloudy

When the sun is hiding behind a layer of cloud, and life seems just a little too cloudy, there are some things I do to distract myself from the forces of cloud. Not only are these quite effective for me, but I believe that they could potentially replace the prescription of various pharmaceuticals.

Gym: When outer influences create a feeling of anger or frustration, the gym is the best remedy. Find a treadmill that's slightly hidden from the general gym population, and pump it up to the highest setting. Your arms and legs are free to flail in a maniacal way, and your bits are wobbling like there's no tomorrow, but the feeling of complete lack of control, while still maintaining the inherent control of being able to press STOP at any point, is quite satisfying. The same satisfaction can be had from the bike, the rower and the cross trainer.

Food: Namely, Hog's Breath Cafe. I've never been to one of these places before, so could never have known the complete level of awe that I recently experienced (and the apparent beginnings of a heart attack half way through my meal). They have steak that has never been so tender, they have chips that are curly and can be dipped in your choice of sauce, and lastly, they have a mammoth ice cream sundae of such astounding proportions that they recommend not attempting to eat on your own. That, my friends, is exactly what is needed in a time of 'last hope'; feeling like you wanna die? Go and eat yourself to death!

Cat: My little treasure Colin was picked up from the cattery yesterday. After a brief period of miaowing his little head off in the car, there was silence. I assumed he'd finally calmed down and realised that we were on our way home. But I was wrong. A smell started to exude from the cat box, and the miaowing took on a ferocity rarely heard. He had done a shit, (not just any shit - it was runny), in the cat box and was getting covered in it. He managed to get out of the cat box with 1km to go, and spread the shit around the car, and onto me. Ordinarily this would have pissed me off, but it merely acted as a grounding experience. I can thank Colin for allowing me the chance to clean shit off a baser being, and to be thanked for my efforts by a big wet cuddle. I needed nothing more.

And that, my lovely readers, is Bazza's little list of things to do when your world is cloudy, your brain can't cope and it seems like life just isn't so important. (Colin can be rented for $50 an hour. Poo is not guaranteed.)