The Filters

My oh my I am SO popular.

But seriously - I'm sure every average looking girl who advertises for a man gets as much attention. The thing is that I've never had quite so much attention and I"m friggin proud as hell! I mentioned in my previous post that I'd had 30 enquiries in the first 24 hours. Since then, the number has risen to approximately 100. It's approximate because I've LOST COUNT.

Now don't get too excited; they're all fairly underwhelming, apart from 3 that I have put through my various filtering processes. I feel it's somewhat important to communicate these filters, in order to make this kind of thing easier for other women of desperation in this world.

Filter 1: What Does He Sound Like?
Possibly the most effective of all the filtering processes, in terms of handling the volume of enquiries, this involves yours truly reading the offending person's profile, and scanning it for, a) spelling mistakes, b) grammatical mistakes, and c) syntactical usage. If he is of an adequate standard, (95% pass rate, allowing for potential typo's), then we move on to Filter 2.

Filter 2: What Does He Look Like?
You may be surprised that is not the first Filter, but you see, I place more importance on their ability to hold a written conversation, than their appearance. (This is the main reason why I'd have to decline any advances from David Beckham.) So, I observe the person's photo. My immediate thought varies, but allows me to judge my true opinion quite accurately. There are 3 levels of thought, as follows; a) 'He's hot: I'd like to tap that', b) 'Is he hot? I can't quite tell... perhaps at a different angle...', and c) 'What in god's name possessed this person to contact me, and who told them that this was a good photo?' Needless to say, anybody in (a) moves on to the next stage, those in (b) are left in my inbox for further thought, and (c) are rightly declined.

Filter 3 is as yet undefined. I have made contact with 3 people who passed Filters 1 and 2 with flying colours. I'll update you as to Filter 3 - the final filter - in due time.

Slightly Shameful

I'm slightly ashamed of what I'm about to say, but I figure that if I don't write about this on my blog, I'm never going to be able to talk about what could potentially be a very news-worthy project.

I went to a wedding on Saturday - it was beautiful, lovely, everything a wedding should be. Prior to going, I had been told that weddings were THE place to meet people. I told myself that, having tried most other avenues, if a wedding didn't produce the man of my dreams, I'd have to resort to the final avenue. That is, dating websites. *shudder*

So, I didn't meet anybody at the wedding, and yesterday I did it; I put my profile on a website. Urgh. I feel slightly sick about the whole thing. But I figured that I don't go out, like, at all, and even if I had the time to go out I still wouldn't. In short, there's absolutely nowhere that I'm going to meet a man, so unless I want to be an old spinster this measure is totally necessary.

In the last 24 hours, I've received about 30 enquiries. Of these, I have made contact with just 2. I narrowed it down to these 2 men, because they were the only ones who made no spelling mistakes and could string a sentence together without abbreviating anything or saying 'lol'. Appalling isn't it. But a pleasant surprise was that these adequate spellers were also relatively good looking. So yes, it's an interesting little project, I'm still ashamed about it, but I'd rather do something that's completely against my nature and totally outside of my comfort zone than end up alone, cursing the world for not delivering me some company when deep down I know it's because I didn't try hard enough.

So there.