Great Idea...?

My neighbourly colleague Roy has made a suggestion - ordinarily his suggestions are either too pornographic or too down right dumb to even bother listening to, but today he has surprised me. He has suggested, as one of my more loyal readers, that having a Guest Blogger once a month would add a new dimension to I Like To Complain.

My initial thoughts are that this is a truly brilliant idea. However, I am all too aware that the temazepam and two large gin and tonics I consumed last night may be clouding my judgement, so I require your opinion. Please let me know:
a) your view of the validity of this suggestion,
b) your potential interest in being a Guest Blogger yourself, and
c) any ideas on restrictions and/or limitations to the content and subject of a Guest Bloggers 'spot'.

If your comments are wholly positive, Roy will get a pat on the back. If your comments prove that my levels of intoxication are making me sink into Roy's little world of clear stupidity, he will get a slap on the back of the head.

One Month's Notice

The worst thing about finally handing in one's notice, is that one then has to endure a month of pretending to give a shit. I've done a day of my notice period, and I'm over it - SO over it.

What's going to get me through the next 18 working days? Alcohol? Valium? Both? The cold and flu tablets appear to be making things slightly more interesting - or is that the Valium I took on top of them? I guess I'll never know.

Anyway, my plan of action is this:

Week 1 of Notice Period: Email everyone I know informing them of my decision, while slagging off my current employer, and going on about how great my new job will be.

Week 2 of Notice Period: Resort to alcohol - organise as many 'farewell' lunches as possible, and spend the majority of the time either drunk, or anticipating my next bout of drunkenness.

Week 3 of Notice Period: Resort to prescription drugs and alcohol. Lots of them. Start planning 'leaving drinks' and 'leaving lunch' and 'leaving dinner'. Execute a reconnaissance mission of potential venues for above events.

Final week of Notice Period: Sober up long enough to write a handover document, and burn all personal files and downloaded music to disk. Then follow up with previously planned leaving events.

That should keep me busy and intoxicated enough to ignore the fact that I'm still in this shit hole. I hope.

Should I stay or should I go?

Today I had an interview - ooh naughty. It was all very exciting, lying to people about where I went to lunch and what I was doing and who I was with. I was tempted to concoct a big fat story, something along the lines of, "Well, I was walking along, minding my own business, and there was this dinosaur and it was handing out free smoothies! So I took one, and was transported to the faraway land of Oz. Shortly after my arrival, I encountered a scarecrow who didn't have a brain..." but that may have been a copyright infringement.

So in an attempt to not mention the words Dinosaur or Oz, I made a lame half arsed excuse about having lunch with someone from the media, and that i didn't eat anything because I liked nothing on the menu, which is why I had to buy a sandwich on my return. Anyone who knows me, knows that I ALWAYS find something on the menu to eat, especially if it's a laminated menu. So this story hasn't washed with the majority of my office.

However, this doesn't really matter, because I think tomorrow everything will be out in the open. That's right, I think I'm going to accept this job.

I feel like I'm turning into a knob in my current position, and that I need a change, something that challenges me, and motivates me to get up in the mornings - something other than the lure of the Internet at my desk.

So, tomorrow will be telling, I'm sure. I might change my mind overnight - or I might not. Is the suspense KILLING YOU??!! Well it's killing me - I may have to resort to a temazepam for this one... well, it's better than gin isn't it?? mmmm... gin....