Connectile Overload

Having recently received my work mobile phone, I am currently lumbered with the task of carrying around two phones. This means that I am now wasting a lot of time checking both phones, hence Connectile Overload. So my dilemma is:

Do I ditch the old mobile, and only use the work one? Or do I leave the old one at home and risk missing an excessively important phone call?

I think the answer lies in the fact that I very rarely receive any excessively important phone calls. Hmmm. I don't know how comfortable I am with this. What do I do?

I have just asked my best friend if I should use my new work mobile, and she answered: No. Put it in a box and bury it in your back garden and pray to it every night. She's such a bitch. Why am I friends with her again? Ah yes, she gives me access to cosmetics only available in Asia. God damn her and her country's prolific supply of make-up.

On a secondary note, I have just been given a bag full of merchandise to give to my clients. Is it wrong that i want to keep this for myself? That I would like to take the 50 pens, 30 stress balls and 20 Thermo-Mugs home with me and play with them in the style of scrooge counting his money or the cookie monster eating his stash of cookies? Have I finally lost all sense of reason? Is there any shred of a normal person left in this body of mine?

I think I've reached new levels of weird. Yep - I'm officially a freak - a weirdo - a vagrant. Small children will soon be chasing me around town throwing rocks at me and calling me "that smelly old lady with the stress balls". It's over - that's it. It's been great talking to you.