The Course... again...

I am proud to present to you, oh avid reader, the wholly improved and perpetually sustained, Bazza.

That's right, I'm on another course. Some of you may remember the epic journey of The Course; when I was sent on a journey of inexplicable proportions to the land of the south and the world of self improvement. Well, apparently I have not been improved enough, and have been sent on another course, with the view to emerging a completely better person.

That's right folks, I am now on a Course of High Impact Improvement. Going one step better than the course of Life Improvement, this course aims to develop your skills so much so that you're constantly finding yourself in a position of authority and control, over every situation of social interactivity. I am half way through the course, and already I'm finding that my skills of persuasion are at an all time high. I merely have to suggest something in a very subtle manner, and my wish is granted.

You see, the majority of this course is all about presenting something to people, and persuading them to do something. So, for example, let's say that you wanted something. Um, maybe, a lollipop. Let's say that you REALLY want the lollipop, you know that it's presently out of your reach, and you need to put something into action in order to obtain said lollipop for your own private purposes. Ordinarily, I'd have scooted around the issue, and maybe alluded to the fact that at some point in my life I would quite like to have that lollipop, but after my course of High Impact Improvement I know exactly what to do. And yes, I asked for that lollipop, and I got that lollipop. Simply put, I can now get whatever the hell I want.

I am enlightened, I feel improved, I feel greedy. I feel like now I will never feel neglected or without again. I am fulfilled... to a point. I wait, with baited breath, to find out what I could possibly learn tomorrow, on the second day of the course...