Sartorius

I have strained my Sartorius muscle.

"The sartorius (sar-TOR-ee-us) is the longest muscle in the body. Extreme efforts in athletics can overcontract, overextend, or overwork the muscle. Treatment is painful, and often difficult to perform."

The text book I have quoted from [The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook] goes on to explain how one should treat a strained sartorius. It says that a deep, sharp, circular movement is required along the full extension of the muscle, to be applied for 5 minutes, at least 5 times a day until the strain subsides. The problem is that my trainer did this 'massage' this morning, and my leg is already bruised to fuck and even the slightest touch causes great pain and discomfort.

I now refer back to my post, on Thursday May 3rd, entitled "For Fuck's Sake...". Once again it seems that leading a healthy lifestyle causes pain, and going to the gym makes your muscles unable to do their daily task of walking, moving etc. Ergo, exercising makes you unfit.

In today's environment of anti-obesity and endless initiatives centred around getting our nation fitter, I think that my discovery should be made public. So, next time someone on the TV tells you to do '30 minutes a day' of exercise, or to eat '7 servings of fruit and veg' each day, please refer to this post, and previous relevant posts, for details of the empirical research that I have undertaken in the last 12 weeks. That is, bear in mind that such physical activity and healthy eating WILL make you feel like shit for the majority of the time.

Trust me people; the pain and suffering I have gone through has given me nothing except a disturbing ability to last a day on 1/4 cup of muesli, a small tin of tuna and a carrot.