I'm Out.

That's it. I'm out. I can't go on anymore, I can't do it any longer. My body is saying NO.

I was on the cross trainer this morning with my trainer barking "Go Faster!!" down my ear and I physically wasn't able to go any faster and I CRIED. That's right, tears of pain and sheer exhaustion. I'm fucked off because I've now only got one more day of this Challenge, and I'm not allowed to drink more than one litre of water a day, and I'm not allowed to eat any carbs and basically can only eat vegetable products and lean protein (and I'm not even allowed protein today just in case my body builds any more muscle and therefore weighs me down).

So the story is that I'm existing on ... FUCKING NOTHING. I can't eat a fucking thing and I'm truly and utterly fucked off with this fucking fuck fuck fucking challenge!!!!!

**Breathe**

But it's ok... yes, it is ok. Tomorrow, after being weighed and photographed and measured and blah, I am going to have a lovely breakfast followed by a bit of shopping followed by a bottle of champagne and a massive chicken curry with rice - WHITE rice. tee heee la la la ha ha la la!!!

I think I've lost my mind. Maybe it's the fake tan seeping into my brain... That's right, I had to get a spray tan last night, as instructed by the Challenge organisers. Apparently it makes you look more toned and my photo's will therefore look better and I will stand more of a chance of winning. I don't even want to win anymore. I've got to where I want to be, I'm over it. I just need to get back into normal eating and being a normal person. Without putting on any weight obviously. Christ. How boring have I become? Am I really so pre-occupied with my weight and appearance that I can't think of a single thing to say about the almost traumatising experience of standing naked in front of a complete stranger while she sprayed me with a coffee-like substance which was hooked up to a hose attached to a mains-powered generator?

What have I become??