For Fuck's Sake...

I have a few things to complain about this evening. I'll start at the top and work my way down:

When a person is instructed to perform a task, what makes them decide to not do it? When another person is required to delegate a task, what makes them decide to not do so? For example, I am currently waiting for an international money transfer. This money will be going towards paying off a credit card, but also towards paying back a friend that I owe money to. Therefore, it's very important for this money to be transferred asap. I was told that the transfer went through last week, and today I was told that the person organising the transfer hasn't done it yet and it's going to take another 5 working days. Why? WHY??

Secondly, I would like to complain about something which is very close to my heart, yet grates on my very existence. It is currently a full moon, which in my monthly female calendar indicates that I am ovulating. Usually this means that I become abnormally virile, as well as slightly broody and I often develop an insatiable craving for chocolate. However, this month my body appears to have changed its mind; ovulation has been skipped, and PMT has surfaced a whole week early. So, the tears for no reason and the urge to scream and rant at everybody is here. I ask you, why has this happened? WHY??

And lastly, I would like to complain about leading a healthy life. Surely it would make sense for a person to be rewarded for regularly exercising and eating a healthy diet? No no no - this is apparently where we're all wrong. Instead, we get muscle pains, cramps, spasms and hot flushes. We also get uncontrollable cravings to the point where our bodies literally lunge forward at the sight of chocolate, beer, curry, or anything that doesn't taste like a carrot stick. Is this not a trifle unfair? Does this not seem like a bit of a stretch of the law of sod? Fuck sod and his fucking law. I want a fucking curry and I want one NOW.

And now I want some trifle. Damn it.