Today, the final day of The Course, saw the culmination of all things treacherous into a veritable melting pot of hostility and discomfort. While Kemp and I remained focused on our ultimate goal of Advanced Life Improvement, others struggled. It seems that their levels of stamina and endurance were pitiful in the face of IDCS and SICD. Perhaps this is why we were the chosen ones for this quest, and perhaps this is why we have succeeded in our journey, in the face of such barbaric conditions.
I will attempt to explain.
This great southern land is far from home, far from comfort and far from stability. Today we witnessed a phenomenon known as "rain" and it's damaging partner "wind". When their powers combined, they created a force largely unseen in my northern homeland, and greatly feared by all inhabitants: Bad Weather. But we soldiered on - the wind ravaged my hair, and the rain pillaged my mascara, but did I crack? Did I fall victim?? No no no reader, I fought on!
Regardless of my altered appearance, Kemp and I maintained our composure...that is, until we were faced with the final test: The 'meet-and-greet' with the 'CEO'. The most feared and gruesome of all powerful beings, and we had been chosen to face this foe. After a long day of fighting environmental elements and increasing exhaustion, we found, within the depths of our souls, the power to fight on. That's right, we met-and-gret our ultimate challenger, and we took him down. Armed with the light saber of Stella Artois and the scimitar of Chandon, we shook off his needless advances, and we saw through his bravado of pleasantness.
Reader, I shall not lie to you. This final test was not all guts and glory, oh no. Yes, we succeeded in our quest, and we triumphed in our battles, but we have been left with a feeling of emptiness. A feeling of such destructuralism that we no longer know what is right or wrong, or indeed, who is friend or foe. We will return north at sunset tomorrow, moving from the gloom towards the light, but what have we left behind? Will Bazza and Kemp ever be whole without the reassuring structure of IDCS and SICD? How does one live when one has achieved such enlightenment? How does one live such an Advanced and Improved Life?
I believe this may be the end of Life as I know it. The journey is over.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Alright ... where the hell are you and what are you doing there?
But most importantly ... who the hell is Kemp?
I don't talk to you for a week and look what happens!
Perhaps one day you too will be chosen for this journey. Until that day arrives, my dear toes, I fear we cannot be friends.
Post a Comment