Don't get me wrong, having my little treasure, Colin, in my life is a joy - it's a blessing - it's full of rewards. But there are some things that I don't think I was prepared for.
Firstly, I now have responsibilities outside of ensuring my own shelter, hygiene, feeding and watering. I now have to ensure the shelter, hygiene, feeding and watering of another being. I can't just come home and make my own dinner; I have to make Colin's dinner first. I can't just wake up and head straight for my muesli; I have to get Colin's breakfast first. This constant 'putting someone else in front of myself' is harder than you think.
Secondly, my schedule is all out of whack. I ran a tight ship Pre-Colin, and now... well now I am having some major logistical issues. This morning is a perfect example: I woke up, fed Colin, then instead of my usual-to-the-second ritual, I left the house 20 minutes late with an empty stomach, had forgotten to take all my various pills and potions, hadn't washed my hair, and had mistakenly put on yesterday's underwear instead of finding a clean pair. So the first part of my day was spent finding food, supplementing my vitamin deficiency, and finding a suitable vessel to carry home my underwear which I'd had to discard in favour of a commando approach to the day.
As I reflect on my motherhood issues, young Colin is chewing the edge off the spine of a very rare copy of Alfred Jarry's 'Ubu Roi'. Is this an allegory for the changed state of affairs? Is his choice of book possibly reflecting my complete lack of understanding and comprehension for the situation that I've chosen? Or do I need to just give in and watch my collection of rare pieces of literature, and indeed, the rarity and perfection of my somewhat obsessive lifestyle, turn into kibble?
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