The Filters

My oh my I am SO popular.

But seriously - I'm sure every average looking girl who advertises for a man gets as much attention. The thing is that I've never had quite so much attention and I"m friggin proud as hell! I mentioned in my previous post that I'd had 30 enquiries in the first 24 hours. Since then, the number has risen to approximately 100. It's approximate because I've LOST COUNT.

Now don't get too excited; they're all fairly underwhelming, apart from 3 that I have put through my various filtering processes. I feel it's somewhat important to communicate these filters, in order to make this kind of thing easier for other women of desperation in this world.

Filter 1: What Does He Sound Like?
Possibly the most effective of all the filtering processes, in terms of handling the volume of enquiries, this involves yours truly reading the offending person's profile, and scanning it for, a) spelling mistakes, b) grammatical mistakes, and c) syntactical usage. If he is of an adequate standard, (95% pass rate, allowing for potential typo's), then we move on to Filter 2.

Filter 2: What Does He Look Like?
You may be surprised that is not the first Filter, but you see, I place more importance on their ability to hold a written conversation, than their appearance. (This is the main reason why I'd have to decline any advances from David Beckham.) So, I observe the person's photo. My immediate thought varies, but allows me to judge my true opinion quite accurately. There are 3 levels of thought, as follows; a) 'He's hot: I'd like to tap that', b) 'Is he hot? I can't quite tell... perhaps at a different angle...', and c) 'What in god's name possessed this person to contact me, and who told them that this was a good photo?' Needless to say, anybody in (a) moves on to the next stage, those in (b) are left in my inbox for further thought, and (c) are rightly declined.

Filter 3 is as yet undefined. I have made contact with 3 people who passed Filters 1 and 2 with flying colours. I'll update you as to Filter 3 - the final filter - in due time.