Communicative Overload

I'm beginning to wonder how many communicative devices and methods one person needs. I was recently battling over the stark reality of having two mobile phones. My problem being that I can't use my work mobile for international calls/texts, so I need to have a separate phone for International. I was faced with a few options:

• Ditch the International mobile and lose contact with the majority of my friends and my father.
• Use the work mobile for International as well as Domestic, and face the prospect of getting sacked for overusing staff privileges.
• Search for further methods of communication, utilise them, and analyse the results.

I chose the final option, and went in search of alternative International communication methods. I was directed to Facebook. While the initial thrill of being able to put my photo up, and have a daily 'thought' as well a permanent feed from my oh-so-popular blog was alluring, the thrill was soon overtaken by the realisation that I have no photos of myself, my daily thoughts are not worth publicising, and my blog just doesn't look good as a permanent feed - loses its credibility somehow. (And it's got SO much of that!) So Facebook is out.

I then looked at my home phone - my Landline. After a month of making various International phone calls at all sorts of stupid times of the day and night, I received what's known as a 'phone bill'. I'm currently arguing with the telephone company as to the validity of said bill, and I'll let you know the outcome. Needless to say, I have decided not to pursue this method of communication. So the Landline is out.

Hence, physically talking to my friends and family is out, and so is publicising my every thought and responding to Facebook alerts and messages. It's all too much hard work. So now I have resorted to email. Although after a hefty boxing session with my trainer this morning, even emailing is heading for the 'too hard basket'. What's a girl to do?

And the thought has hit me. How selfish of my friends to live in a miserable, muddy little island on the other side of the world. Did they not think about the logistical nightmare that I'd be facing on this - the proper, warmer side of the world - Did they not stop and THINK that maybe it'd be much nicer and congenial for them to come and join me over here? I mean really, I'm not asking much. Just for them to uproot themselves and park their arses over here for a while, just until I'm sick of them and send them back home. I can even accommodate their families for a nominal fee - there's plenty of room in the old people's home round the corner, and I believe that the Vet has a few empty cages... I'll do some further research into family accom, and get back to you.

In the meantime, please can we all just spare a thought for me - poor little Bazza, friendless, homeless, and lost, with a bunch of friends who are too SELFISH to emigrate. (That's a slight exaggeration. I'm not completely friendless. And I'm not homeless. Oh but I got lost on the way to a meeting this morning. Does that count?)