- Fem-Chav: Wearing a t-shirt that's too small for her, she wanders the Ipswich City Shopping Precinct with a gold chain around her chubby neck smoking a Stuyvesant cigarette, which she lit by striking a match on the flies of her jeans that broke about 9 months ago as her fiancee was attempting to make baby Tiffany.
- Tradie: He owns the town, he is king of all he surveys, he sits in the food court eating his extra large kebab and super sized Powerade because he'll need the energy when he gets home tonight, when he'll sit in front of his TV to watch Today Tonight as his fiancee heats up yesterday's leftover pizza. He had a hard day looking for work, and the yellow flourescent vest and King-G trousers he's wearing are soaked with sweat.
- 30 yr old Grandma: She had her first child Kyla at 16, and is now expecting her third grandchild, J-Den. She once got highlights in her hair but the hairdresser fucked it up so she beat her to within an inch of her life and is now banned from said hairdressers so can't get them re-touched. She doesn't care if her hair is half blonde and half grey because if anyone fucks with her, she's got a whole family of feral children who are adept at stealing, trashing and generally fucking with other people's cars.
I feel that my trip to Ipswich has opened my eyes. I'm glad to be back in Brisbane alive, and with all my belongings in tact. Unfortunately, next week I am going to Toowoomba - which is a whole 80km further west than Ipswich. Who knows what species I will find...
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