Fuck

Here's a scenario for you:

Last night I set my alarm for 05:45, in order to be at my colleague's house at 07:00, to make it to Toowoomba (150kms away) by 09:30 for a client meeting. This wake-up time would provide me with enough time to do my hair, look respectable, pack the car and head off for a leisurely drive out west.

At roughly midnight, the area I live in suffered from what's formally known as a 'power cut'. I like to call it an ALMIGHTY FUCK-UP.

So, instead of waking up at 05:45, I woke up at 06:55 - I officially had 5 minutes to get ready, leave the house, and drive the 8kms to my colleague's house. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. After phoning her and calmly explaining the situation, ("fucking hell you're not gonna fucking believe what the fuck i've done my fucking alarm didn't go off and fuck i've just woken up and fucking hell fuck fuck"), I showered, I dressed, I put on some mascara and jumped in the car. All within 5 minutes.

Whilst in the car I decided to phone my mum and calmly tell her what had happened, and enquired as to whether she had also suffered from a similar 'power cut' scenario, ("i fucking just woke the fuck up because some fuckwit electricity company decided to fuck up big time in my general area and fucked me over and i'm supposed to be in the fucking back arse end of fucking western nowhere in 2 hours and i have no fucking idea what the fuck i'm going to do"), and that made me feel better.

It turned out that after jumping 6 red lights and breaking the speed limit roughly 12 times, I made it to colleague's house by 07:30, and we got to the meeting with 1 minute to spare.

I am a god damned time lord genius.